Thinking Torah Blog

I am a spiritual seeker. Every time I step onto the bimah, lead morning blessings, or say a blessing as I stand in awe of the natural world, I hope to be spiritually moved and feel my soul alight. It doesn’t always happen. No, spiritual fulfillment is a practice; it doesn’t happen on demand, but regular participation helps prepare me for these moments; it helps ensure I am ready to hold onto the exceptional moments that move me and confirm my attachment to God and this Universe.

At the beginning of this week’s Torah portion, Achrei Mot, Aaron is instructed regarding the rituals leading up to Yom Kippur. Before the details of the rituals are laid out, Aaron is told that he may not enter the holy place of the Tabernacle whenever he wants. He can’t just show up and expect an on-demand experience. No, entering beyond the veil (the word used in this week’s Torah portion) doesn’t just happen.

Those of us who are spiritual seekers are wise to remember that even the High Priest, the person we think is closest to God, doesn’t always have access. When we don’t feel what we hope to feel in prayer or what we deem a “spiritual moment,” we can remember that we aren’t always able to enter beyond the veil. We keep practicing, working for the ecstatic moments that fill our spirits with meaning.